Permanently Suspicious

Those who know me, know one of the most influential writers in my life has been Vaclav Havel. His speech entitled, "The Anatomy of Hate," is one of the best I've ever come across on the subject of the insidiousness of our own self-deception.

I came across this quote by him this week: “Again, being in power makes me permanently suspicious of myself. What is more, I suddenly have a greater understanding of those who are starting to lose their battle with the temptations of power.”

I am constantly reminded of my own self-deception, partly the belief that I am better than I really am. Serving near a graveside today reminded me that we are all headed to the same place, a la Ecclesiastes. The question is, "What path shall I take there?" Will it be the path where I believe I alone stand or will it be the path that claims my own sinfulness and weakness as the opportunity for God's strength and righteousness?

I am reminded of this as I head into a difficult finance committee meeting at our school, recognizing the challenges we face are greater than our own human attempts. I believe part of leadership is the recognition that I am in over my head and moments like gravesides and board rooms remind me of this.

Ciao!